Here we are in October; the month where ridiculously oversized bags of candy not only occupy their usual space in the candy aisle, but also receive an extra special additional aisle in case you missed them during the earlier moments of your grocery shopping experience. And where will all that candy end up? Why, in your house, of course. So I’d like to help you with that. In fact, I’d like to help everyone who has ever received an abundance of unwanted  junk food, whether from parties, holidays, carnivals, grandparents, house guests or school. I’d also like to help the people who bring their excess of junk to their jobs, where the entire office is subjected to the logic of “I’m sorry guys but I have all this junk and I just have to get rid of it….”

So here you are with junk food that you  don’t want either because it’s full of fat and calories, or because you know it’s full of chemicals, or because you’re trying to raise your kids to know that there’s other stuff in the world to focus on other than food. What do you do with all the crap that comes into your home?

I’ll tell you. There’s a great place to put it. It’s free, it’s accessible, and you probably have one in your house. Any guesses? That’s right, the garbage. Say it with me: “IF I RECEIVE FOOD THAT IS BAD FOR ME, I SHOULD THROW IT IN THE GARBAGE.”

Here’s how it works. You take the bag of poison “food” and you throw it into the trash can, where it will sit next to all of the other stuff that you’ve gotten rid of because it serves you no purpose, like dirty diapers, used tissues, and  worn out shoe laces. Then, on garbage collection day, you take the entire bag outside and leave it on your curb. The nice man with the truck will take it away for you, and you’ll never have to see it again. It’s that simple.

“But wait!” you may protest. “I cannot throw food in the garbage! I was taught that throwing away food is wrong. I was taught to clear my plate. I was taught to be grateful for what I have. What about all the starving children in the world?”

Yes, we should all be grateful for what we have, and YES, there are starving people in this world and we should make every effort to help those who are less fortunate than we are. But I’m not suggesting that you discard broccoli and apples or any food that would actually benefit malnourished children. The starving children are not deficient in the nutrients provided by M&Ms, Gushers, Oreos, and all the other stuff that finds its way into our homes. And don’t worry about throwing away food, because this stuff isn’t food. It’s “food.”  It’s stuff that can technically be ingested, but that doesn’t mean that it should be ingested. All it means is that some company put it in a fun package and marketed it as food and now society has come to accept it as such. But all the packaging, marketing, advertising, soliciting and eating of these products still does not qualify them as food.

The next time you find yourself standing in your kitchen with a bag full of poisonous treats, give yourself the following affirmation:  It is okay to throw garbage in the garbage.